i love you three thousand

[amovingtarget]

Avengers: Endgame
watched 25 April
SPOILERS HEREIN

Family, found or otherwise. Scott's reunion with his daughter: it's awfully heartwarming and tearjerking at the same time and Tony is certified the best, most adorable dad ever. In hindsight I kind of feel like some people are going to say that there was a disproportionate about of weight on his scenes, and on his daughter, but… his putting Morgan to bed was the most beautiful bit of parenting I've ever seen? And it said so much about him? There's an adorable shot of of Tony and Nat and Rocket(?) lying on a table doing some high level thinking, it's gorgeous to see how cosy they are together, especially after everything. Gamora helps future!Nebula, and Gamora isn't much impressed by her future self's taste in men, but it's kind of more adorable than it sounds, and that's such a strangely sweet sisterly moment.

Callbacks big and smallThere are too many to list, of course. And the big ones are massive, unmissable things, since they're the set pieces of the movie, but I also feel like there were tiny ones that I can hardly remember except for that little flutter of deja vu feeling they gave me. The movie had a lot of fun with itself, with the franchise, with the comics. Many, many gratuitous comments are made about Steve's ass, it is amazing./

Steve went into the elevator with the task force and the sceptre -- in itself a delicious call back to the fight scene in Captain America 2 -- and because we now know that they're all evil, Steve just Hail Hydras the sceptre into his hands, and walks away smirking. If that isn't a jab at the comics, I don't know what is. I recognised Asgardian refugees settling on Earth from the comics, though I don't remember what arc (there are too many, and too many I didn't bother reading). Steve, Tony and Thor go to fight Thanos, which I kind of loved because it reminded me of all the old art where is was only the three of them but I'd have to dig up my brother's art book to see who drew the art I'm thinking of. I have also been waiting to see Pepper in her Rescue armour and was not disappointed, though I didn't put two and two together when Tony mentions it because I was too busy distracted by his adorableness with his daughter. Speaking of Pepper being badass…

The battle and the gauntlet relay There might be opinions that it was too big and gratuitous. It's a fair point, but then again… Honestly, it's the last one, and the culmination of everything so, go big or go home in my opinion (or go big andgo home, even). There's nothing I love more than when all your friends turn out to help you fight your battles, and holy shit, all my friends where there. The gauntlet relay was surprisingly heartwarming and funny, so many people! so much teamwork!

Peter finding Tony in the battle and trying to apologise/explain/apologise/explain and Tony doing that face he does and just hugging the hell out of him. Fighting ladies! Valkyrie on her pegasus! and Pepper in her armour! Wanda starts shredding Thanos exactly as he deserves! Carol's big damn heroes entrance! Steve using the hammer! he's worthy! yes, Thor, we all knew it.

The last scene, the last shot, the credits all so touching as well.

There is literally only one part of the movie I really would change. When I realised Clint and Nat were going to Vormir, and they learned about the sacrifice deal… I was so hoping that they would decide to both hold hands and jump together, and see who loves the other more. I do like how they did it -- the way they fought and tried to one up the other was so in character (and I think a call back to Avengers 1) and of course Nat wins because she's just better. I've never really been one of those people who think self sacrifice is a bullshit idea or lazy writing. But I was kind of holding out for a loophole because no evil guy would think of sacrificing themselves, or maybe the stone would know this was an honourable thing, and, either way, they could circumvent the sacrifice rule because of their selflessness. They'd both live, and they'd have the stone.

I loved Tony and Pepper's arc, and their daughter. I love that Pepper has finally come to terms with Tony and Iron Man being the same person -- his drive to be bigger than himself, and to always do more, save more -- and at the same time, I really liked that she said one of the few failures because she is not usually wrong, and indeed she's not about what Tony wants to do next, or the fact that he needs to do it. I was thinking later about all the times that bad things have happened and Tony always tries to call Pepper and something makes that not happen, and this time she was here fighting with him, and she was with him at the end, and I was just, so glad.

You know, when I first saw Thor I was… really confused, about why they would do that. First I felt like it was some kind of weird comic relief element? But it wasn't treated like that? Sure people notice, and it's commented on, but everyone seemed to be able to tell he was struggling. When he said I went for the head at the start of the movie after killing Thanos, you could so hear that he was resenting himself for doing too little, too late, and for five years he just… never recovered from that. Nobody said he couldn't be part of the team because he was overweight, or drunk, or depressed. His mother wasn't disappointed in him for losing, or not being the hero he was supposed to be. The hammer of Thor still thinks he's worthy, and he still fights Thanos with everything he's got. I don't think I got it at all while I was watching the movie, but since I've been turning it over in my head… maybe they were trying to show that you could be at your worst, and you could still be a hero.

I was a little sad that Bucky didn't get to talk to Steve on screen, but on the other hand I get it. The run time is already way long and showing Steve pass the torch is more important, especially when Bucky and Steve's story arc -- however one might see their relationship -- was always so much in the subtext and given that it's difficult to know what they might say to each other that would be satisfying enough to fit in. I do wish we'd seen some kind of conclusion though, and… maybe I want to write one.

I loved so much that everyone was there. Every character felt like themselves, they felt real, even when we only caught glimpses of them. With a million characters and a three hour runtime, it would be really, really easy to mess something up, but the movie found a way for everyone to be there just enough to be felt, without making the movie feel like a drag. Not once was I aware of time passing, or that it felt too long, or that I was tired of watching. Every scene felt important, or fun, or both. Even though I felt like certain movies were less than they could have been, this one did an amazing job of giving everyone a voice, and tying everything up.

It's funny… I didn't expect Tony to die. I thought definitely Steve, and maybe Tony, but it was the other way around. And I was surprised! But I was also... so touched. In the end, it came out kind of perfect, kind of poetic.

Steve was the one who was always denied a chance to have a life, he was the one who already gave it, and came back empty handed to a country he didn't recognise. He ended up having to find his own path -- in Winter Soldier he very clearly called Shield out on their bullshit, and in Civil War he closed that door completely. He didn't really want to be Captain America, he was just a man trying to do the right thing, and in the end he got to be just a man, an old soldier who got to finally go home. Steve was the man out of time, and he went back and found it.

Tony was the one who was always desperate to make things right, he'd coasted through life and then had his eyes opened and he couldn't bear (for better or worse) to close them again. Nothing he did was ever enough. In Iron Man 3, Jarvis says he can only save a couple of the people freefalling out of that plane, and he says no I'm going to save all of them and he did. He had a chance to have a family, and he did and he was so happy, but neither he nor Pepper can deny who he is. He did the last, greatest thing he could ever do. He wanted a suit of armour around the world, and it was his heart all along.

It wasn't what I expected, and it wasn't very much what I wanted, but I walked out of the movie feeling like it had ended exactly the way it was supposed to.

Such is my experience of the internet that I kind of live in fear of, at best, finding people gloating that Tony is finally out of the franchise, or at worst, being derisive of the things I loved about it and about this movie. Since I've been thinking and journalling about it, I've been remembering I've been thinking about all those fics that I read (back when I was on livejournal aeons ago) and all my old and less old self insert ideas (how much of those would change now that Tony is dead?)the old fic ideas that I wanted to write. I hope I can finally write them. I really want to, because I don't really want Tony to be gone, and I don't want all this to be over.

Comments

[enemyofperfect]

*quietly cheering for all the possible writings*

You love these characters to bits, and the movie clearly made you feel so much. I love that you're thinking about putting that emotion back into making new stories.

Without knowing anything about whether this would make sense in canon, I keep sort of wanting there to be a movie about Natasha fighting her way back to life. She has friends to make it back to!

[amovingtarget]

Natasha fighting her way back to life. She has friends to make it back to!

Holy shit, that would be so cool! I need it!!!

[felis]

Natasha being trapped in the soul stone is the leading fan theory to achieve that at the moment I think. Would actually make sense!

[amovingtarget]

I definitely need it!!!

Natasha clawing her way back to reality + flashbacks of her training in the Red Room, Clint bringing her into Shield, tiny moments with the Avengers we otherwise didn't see...

[flails]

[felis]

Tony doing that face he does and just hugging the hell out of him

I mentioned that moment myself, but I just have to quote you back again here, because his face.

this time she was here fighting with him, and she was with him at the end, and I was just, so glad.

Yeah. The moment where they fight back to back! And then his actual last words? An almost inaudible "hey Pep"...

Thank you for your paragraph on Thor! I liked reading your perspective and it really gave me food for thought, because Thor's overall story has never been a focus for me and like you, I was initially a bit baffled by what they did here. But you gave me the impulse to really think about it some more. A couple of moments were comic relief and I'm not the happiest with that, but you are very right that a lot of them weren't, that he was still accepted like a self-evident part of the group and a hero, and that it was made abundantly clear how much he was struggling. And that the team gives him the space for it - not without commentary but still with patience.
And I think he's the one who really, completely, lost his whole inner foundation, and that's why he's struggling so much. He doesn't even know who he is or who he's allowed to be, that's at the core of his conversation with Frigga (who you are supposed to be vs. being who you are, and being a failure making him just like everybody else, something Rocket already said earlier). He thought he was supposed to be a leader, a king, exceptional, someone to save his people, the strongest Avenger. And he failed, repeatedly, at all of this (lost Asgard, lost Loki, lost to Thanos, and then even the last shred of hope at the beginning of the movie is extinguished) and he has no idea how to deal with that or how to even see himself or pick a path for himself. That's why he's in no headspace for wielding the gauntlet, something Tony clearly recognizes and tells him, and he doesn't have to be. He doesn't have to be the leader and take on that task, even though he's the God of Thunder. (And now I'm wondering if Cap being able to wield the hammer was also for Thor, as a sign that he doesn't have to carry every responsibility alone? That he can give the leadership of Asgard to Valkyrie? Depending on where he is on his journey, you could interpret his exchange with Quill at the end as still finding his exact way with the leader thing, or with him knowing exactly what he doesn't want and teasing Quill to hell and back. Both works.)

I was a little sad that Bucky didn't get to talk to Steve on screen [...] always so much in the subtext

Well, they did have that small but crucial exchange before Steve goes back to the past - Bucky clearly knows what Steve is about to do (telling Steve he'll miss him, his sadness and complete non-suprise), so I've been wondering if Steve talked to him about it and they didn't give us that scene, or if he just knows him so well. Honestly, subtext alright, there's so much to read into this little scene if you want to (Steve's "it'll be alright, Buck" alone!). And while I wish they'd ended it on Old Steve's Face instead of going full circle with the damn dance, the space is still wide open for filling out all the details of Steve's trip and life, in every direction.

Every character felt like themselves, they felt real, even when we only caught glimpses of them. [...] Every scene felt important, or fun, or both.

All of this.

He wanted a suit of armour around the world, and it was his heart all along.

OMG. <3 <3 <3 Kudos for that sentence. The heart symbolism with him has always been off the charts, on so so many levels. (For just one tiny example, I saw this point made on tumblr yesterday.)

So, thanks again for commenting on my post and giving me the chance to find yours that way, which was a pleasure to read!

[amovingtarget]

An almost inaudible "hey Pep"...

It broke me so much ;___;

And you're welcome! The most welcome! More than that, thank you for visiting and reading my post! Let alone leaving such a lengthy and thinky comment! I appreciate it more than I can even say!!!

[runicmagitek]

OH HEY I AM HERE TO JOIN IN ON THE FEELS :D

I went in having kinda zero expectations for Endgame, except that all original Avengers would die. I was really pleasantly surprised that wasn't the case, though. Aside from wishing it was like, half an hour shorter, it was a really awesome movie! And I loved it way more than Infinity War. Or the previous Avengers movies. So yay for that!

If there's one thing I've always loved in Marvel stories (both comics and the movies) it's the found family bits. Like the opening with Nebula and Tony having spent what, 21 days together staying alive? Damn, I wanted a movie just on that! But yeah, watching all of them bond together was so sweet. Esepcially when they were trying to figure out their time travel heist.

I'm usually not one for actual families with two characters having a kid, but Morgan was a sweet lil' punk and I was elbowing my boyfriend and saying if we had a kid, that damn child would be ours XD I was more thrilled to see Tony and Pepper being able to chill and settle down in general, let alone have a kid.

Everything with Scott and his daughter had me tearing up. Then again, everything with Scott in this movie was A++. I love how out of place he is amongst the other Avengers but still makes it worse. Very much the needed comedic break in the movie imo.

The battle was exactly what I wanted it to be and the gauntlet relay was perfect :D I'm also proud of my girls Wanda and Carol just being badass. I am sad there wasn't more Carol :\ a lot of the interviews and stuff made it seem like there would be, but that's ok. At least she's still alive and kicking.

I love what the movie did with Thor... I did not love people in the theatres laughing every second his beer gut came into view. The poor guy went through a lot (I mean, they all did, but...). He lost his home planet, had to watch Thanos take out most of them (I was reading somewhere that only half of them made it to Earth?), and then messed up with not taking out Thanos before the whole snap thing ("should've gone for the head."). The guy's depressed and traumatized and rightfully so. I was happy the movie allowed him to be that and show him conquer his own demons. As someone who's been that low in their life before, it was great to see that... but also extremely painful to hear people laughing all the time at him. Yeah, the initial scene is funny with the video games and beer and pizza, but when it keeps going past that? Sigh... really hurts. I never even cared for Thor in the movies until now :\ I am glad he's teaming up with the Guardians of the Galaxy. That's super fitting.

I love what they did with Steve AND LOVE IT EVEN MORE THAT HIS LEGACY IS BEING PASSED DOWN TO SAM BECAUSE YES. I can't remember who took up the Captain America guise first, Sam or Bucky, but I really hope the Disney+ show with them is just a sitcom with them bickering like a married couple about who has to go out and be Captain America today.

I was really upset that there was nothing with Vision. Wanda mentions him (because of course she does), albeit vaguely, but that's it. Even when they did the credits with all the cast members, there was nothing for Paul Bettany. He's only been voicing Jarvis since the first Iron Man movie :\ and I get he had to stay dead, but having no one mention him in the movie really bothered me and that and other feels are why I'm 7.5k deep in a post-canon Endgame fic that's my life now

Sigh... people gloating about Tony finally being out is just horrible. I can understand Tony stepping out of the limelight, so to speak, to make room for other Marvel characters (because oh dear lord, there are so many) and his death makes sense with his story/character development, but gloating???? That's just stupid :\ ugh, I hate the internet sometimes. I jumped into a shiptag on tumblr post-Endgame to hopefully find people who agreed with me and only found people making petty remarks about the actors as to why they didn't like the characters together on a romantic level *facepalm*

Wow, this got rambly! I guess I'm just as excited about this movie as you! I'm way more of a comics fan than an MCU fan, so it's always a delight when I like one of the MCU movies. And I want to talk to people about them, but uh... also not associate with the MCU fandom, because... reasons ♥ I also need to look into a paid account so I can have more icons and fill them with my love for Marvel comics

[amovingtarget]

And I loved it way more than Infinity War. Or the previous Avengers movies.

AGREE!

Like the opening with Nebula and Tony having spent what, 21 days together staying alive?

Ugh I can't believe that in my haste to post I forgot to mention how much I loved that! It was so quiet and soft and wonderful! That little table football game!!!

Everything with Scott and his daughter had me tearing up. Then again, everything with Scott in this movie was A++.

Paul Rudd fucking killed that scene asldkfjhal

The guy's depressed and traumatized and rightfully so. I was happy the movie allowed him to be that and show him conquer his own demons.

Right?

...who has to go out and be Captain America today.

Oh my God, I have no idea I needed this? Didn't they do a similar thing in comics one time? Or was that a tumblr artist fooling me....

I'm way more of a comics fan than an MCU fan

Man, I've been thinking about how I watched Iron Man (I can't remember if it was 1 or 2) and I just sat down and devoured all the Iron Man comics from 2005 to 2012. That was a good time.