How to See a Black Hole: The Universe's Greatest Mystery watched 11 April
nerdy notes and flailing )

I also need to point out that I heard about the black hole image from Matt Mercer making a Critical Role reference, for maximum nerd. It doesn't get better than that.

I'm...not very good about talking personal stuff. Mostly it's because I don't feel like I have anything worth talking about and my self-esteem is such gutter trash that even when I do I don't believe it's worth reading about, and also because I'm just sad so much of the time. Writing (and reading) about being sad is so exhausting? But... in honour of my new-found rediscovered talking about my thoughts skills, I... would like to give it a shot at least?

There's more depression/negative self-talk under these cuts probably...

Endgame and the tumblr wank cycle )
How do you align feelings? )
Writing up DND adventures )
Family business )
I can do arts? )
Rules: Go to your AO3 works page, expand all the filters, and answer the following questions!


What’re your first and second most common work ratings?

General Audiences (13)
Mature (7)

What’s your most common archive warning?

No Archive Warnings Apply (19)

Do you consider yourself an adventurous writer?

I feel like most of my fics are kind of the same? The only think I consider adventurous was writing there is one sin because I don't particularly ship it (the prompt was hot and spoke to some adjacent kinks) and it's a...risky....pairing considering...the internet and people on the internet? I kind of had to wrestle with getting it down and posted.

How many fics have you written or podficced in each pairing category?

Gen (14)
F/M (9)
M/M (2)
Multi (2)

Is this more accidental, or do you have preferences?

Accidental, I think. I don't think I've ever really thought about what kind of fic I'm writing.

What are your top 4 fandoms by numbers?

Merlin (TV) (4)
Uncharted (Video Games) (4)
Dishonored (Video Games) (4)
Mass Effect Trilogy (4)

Looks like I am a fair and honest fic writer (^_^;)

What are your top 4 relationship tags?

Nathan Drake/Elena Fisher (2)
Freya/Merlin (Merlin) (2)
Kaidan Alenko/Male Shepard (2)
Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin) (2)
Corvo Attano/Jessamine Kaldwin (2)

Does this match how you feel about the characters, or are you puzzled? everyone equally??? That does sound like me, I guess.

What are your top 2 most used additional tags, and your bottom 2?

Most used:
Canonical Character Death (3)
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD (3)

Bottom 2:
N7 Day (2)
Fluff (1)

What would happen if you combined all 4 of these into a fic?

Commander Sheppard and the No Good Very Bad Day? Okay, now I want to write ME3 era groundhog day fic. Fuck.

How many WIPs do you have currently running on AO3? Any you don’t plan on finishing?

No WIPS. I write and post in full.
played 07 - 09 March
FNG: Meh, tutorial stuff... but nice to see hear play as Soap again.
Crew Expendable: I must be super rusty with first person because the initial half hour made me quite headachy and motion sick
Black Out: A little less interesting than I remembered, somehow.
Charlie Don't Surf: This is always kind of funny to replay because it was the first extended firefight I had to get through? I remember very vividly trying to get through the news room floor like... if I just run straight through to the other side, I will be through and the bad guys will stop appearing, right? No, kid, you're just running into a lot of bad guys.
The Bog: Kind of tough, but somehow I like the idea of having to rescue a tank.
The Hunted: Again, less interesting than I remember, but better than Black Out, and tanking down the helicopter with the stinger was easier than previous playthroughs, interestingly enough.
Death From Above: Gunships. This was fun to play again, for no other reason that it's always cool for me to play in anything that flies, even if I'm just the gunner and not the pilot.
War Pig: Escort mission, with a tank. That is, escorting a tank, which is till cute, now with added helpfulness. I felt like this level was more maneuverable than most of the others in this game, behind able to go around through the back of a lot of the buildings, but I might just be imagining it.
Shock and Awe: I can't believe I forgot that mission was in this game. Walking around under that mushroom cloud was, and still is, horrific. Not to say I wasn't morbidly fascinated by how everything looked. I was completely shocked (and kind of heartbroken) the first time I played it. I didn't expect Call of Duty to be the kind of game to make me feel feelings but there I was.
Safehouse: A little tedious, but not terrible.
All Ghillied Up: The mission that made the game for me. I loathe stealth missions that you can't really stealth, ones that have scripted cover breaks and from then on it's just a shoot 'em up. Not to say I'm great at stealth missions, I had to reload checkpoints plenty, but I enjoy them. The other reason I love this one is the setting. Going through Pripyat is eerie no matter how many times I do it.
One Shot One Kill: Fun but not quite as fun at the previous, I kind of enjoyed the extract your teammate and hold out of extraction for the trope feelings more than the gameplay. I'm not a fan of having to try and survive enemy hordes, but at least it doesn't last too long.
Heat: Ugh, hordes, tanks, hordes.
Sins of the Father: short, not very interesting except maybe the beginning.
Ultimatum: This was a nicer mission than I might have assumed, simply because for a lot of it I managed to stay behind on of the sniper rifles you can pick up and actually be useful and not have to do much else?
All In: Ahh, how could I forget all the tanks I needed to kill for this one. Not a bad mission though, I managed to do it faster and with a lot less trouble than I remember. I remember a lot of trouble.
No Fighting in the War Room: Aborting a bunch of nuclear missiles midflight is definitely my idea of a good time.
Game Over: Bittersweet, like all the best endings.

Apparently they're making a remaster of the sequel, as well as a Modern Warfare 4? Colour me interested.

Damn I want to play the rest of the series again now...
First watched late January 2018

1.08 - Glass and Bone )

1.09 - Yug'voril Uncovered )

Seems like captions are finally up for episodes 2.47 - 2.49 so I guess I'll take a break from rewatching to get through those.
In honour of PSPlus day I am...trying to write a post about games.

I finished Red Dead Redemption 2 on the 21st January and since then I've only gamed one day in February when I tried out For Honor and Hitman (2016). I like gaming, and it's usually a sign of a downward spiral when I stop enjoying it, so I should play more games probably.

I'm really happy one of this month's games is Call of Duty: Modern Warfare Remastered because I played it in 2015 without expecting to like it (I got a bunch of games when I bought a second hand PS3 and I figured I should at least give them all a go before selling them off) and, what do you know, it turns out I like Call of Duty. I liked it so much that I kept it and found other COD games to play as well. I don't know anything about the The Witness apart from the fact that it's a puzzle game, and even though I feel like... I might not be smart enough to play it... I'm kind of looking forward to having a go.

Episode Ardyn is out at the end of the month, which has got me wanting to replay Final Fantasy 15 again. Not that that's difficult, I want to replay it every couple of months anyway. This would probably be the sixth time? There's also the fact that chocolatebox has made me want to replay Final Fantasy 12 for the first time. I didn't get a chance to play it on PS2, but I completely fell in love with it watching it on youtube, and it wasn't on PS3, so when the Zodiac Age remaster came out I made sure to preorder it. It's a long game, though.

There's also the fact that I bought Final Fantasy 13 trilogy on Steam this time last year and haven't played it yet (again, thank you youtube) and I got Final Fantasy 6 and Final Fantasy 8 as well, on sale at sometime last year and I haven't played those either. I kind of shot myself in the foot there honestly, because I went for Steam versions because they're cheap, but I'm not a fan of keyboard and mouse gaming and the last time I borrowed a gamepad to use with the PC the results were a bit hit and miss between games. While I'm talking about this franchise I might as well mention that I bought and played Final Fantasy 7 on PS3, but then I went and got the PS4 version the next year and I should also play that...

And, um, Final Fantasy 14? I stumbled onto Shadowbringers trailer and it just looks so cool and I can play for free for a while and I don't have to play with other people technically and the story is supposed to be really nice and someone stop me please?

There are any number of other games to play or replay too. Technically I still have parts of the Assassin's Creed: Odyssey story to finish, and I haven't played episode two of the DLC. I could dip back into Assassin's Creed: Origins and RDR2 for collectibles...

[lies down]

Please rec me more games, I love to suffer.
So earlier this week [personal profile] enemyofperfect somehow ended up talking about what stats we would have as DND characters, as if we weren't nonsense enough about that already, and things naturally snowballed from there, and after a bunch of tweaking...

Half Elf - Lawful Neutral - Paladin [Oath of Redemption] - Level 3
Strength [13]
- Athletics
Dexterity [12]
- Acrobatics
- Sleight of Hand
- Stealth
Constitution [10]
Intelligence [14]
- Arcana
- History
- Investigation
- Nature
- Religion
Wisdom [18]
- Animal Handling
- Insight
- Medicine
- Perception
- Survival
Charisma [12]
- Deception
- Intimidation
- Performance
- Persuasion

Soliloquy: advantage on any checks that use written communication that you have an hour to work on
Teamwork: advantage on all rolls involving shared effort.
Kindred: when taking a short or long rest in happy, friendly company, you receive a 1d8 inspiration die to use until your next rest.
Outsider: for every hour spent without absorbing occupation, take 1d4 psychic damage, for each loving couple or deep friendship witnessed, take 1d8 psychic damage.
Dysphoria: when encountering any kind of perceived rejection, on a failed DC18 wisdom save, take 2d10 psychic damage and self isolate until the next long rest, or short rest if taken in good company.
Empathy: when a non-hostile character that you can perceive takes damage that renders them unconscious, take half that damage as psychic damage.
Hamartia: while defending another, can take an extra 10 damage (up to -10hp) before falling unconscious, at the cost of an autofailed death save.

You can see their stat's over here.
Top three episodes don't have much of a review because I'm still getting the hang of the whole having opinions and being able to express them thing, and they sort of predate my realising that I could in fact write my thoughts down.

2.41 - a pirate's life for me )
2.42 - a hole in the plan )
2.43 - in hot water )
2.44 - the diver's grave )
2.45 - the stowaway )
2.46 - a storm of memories )
adjacent complaints and hurt feelings )



January 2019

Jan. 31st, 2019 08:26 pm
amovingtarget: comic book text saying 'krack' (Default)


Critical Role 2.39 - 2.40

  • I really like the skill challenge because it’s cool and creative, but I’d be deathly afraid of having to think of things on the spot like that, my mind would probably go blank.
  • Also, I have been vague spoiled for episode 2.49 because the internet is the internet, which has made watching them all almost drown extra horrific.
  • But...Matt and Travis going for Fjord/Avantika was...the hottest thing ever? More of this please?

Star Wars: Solo - Did no one like this movie? I didn’t see anything of it on tumblr beyond the initial announcement, but both Mum and I enjoyed it.

BBC Les Miserables 1.01-1.02 - Extremely good so far!


(bolded tracks are things I haven’t heard before)

Metal Gear Solid OST - The Best is Yet to Come

Faunts - Das Malefitz

Christina Aguilera - Genie in a Bottle

Carbon Leaf - Raise the Roof - Courtesy of [personal profile] enemyofperfect

Alan Walker - Diamond Heart

Half Alive - Arrow


(all the articles are from the Pocket email newsletter)

Mira Grant - Blackout

  • Managed to get a massive chunk of this read while I was sitting around with the family, which got me through the bit I seemed to dislike, maybe? I managed to chip away at it more regularly after that, and finished it one night while I was unfortunately awake.

An article about procrastinating, why we do it and how to try not to.

Why you need to practise being your future self. Here’s the key: You need to spend time on the future even when there are more important things to do in the present and even when there is no immediately apparent return to your efforts. In other words — and this is the hard part — if you want to be productive, you need to spend time doing things that feel ridiculously unproductive.

Teaching kids critical thinking

  • All my niblings are grown enough to be skeptical for themselves, but I peeked at this just in case there were tips for teaching myself to think critically about things...

The secret algorithm behind learning

  • Nothing I didn’t already know, really, but I’ve never tried it for some reason, and maybe I should.

Downtown Oslo is car free and it’s amazing?

The best way to use social media...

  • I like this article. It expresses my feelings about social media as it stands now, in better way than I could have done so myself.

Cal Newport interview about digital minimalism

  • Similar to the above, but longer and a little coherent. I can’t tell if it touches on one thing from many angles, or many things from one angle, but there are some interesting ideas scattered around.

Emotional granularity

  • A concept that I knew about but didn’t know there was a term for. The article comes is based on the concept of anger, but I think it might be useful for me to do something like this with sadness.

I have spent six thousand years trying to format this post with html and markdown lolsob

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