If everything's a dream,

So earlier this week enemyofperfect somehow ended up talking about what stats we would have as DND characters, as if we weren't nonsense enough about that already, and things naturally snowballed from there, and after a bunch of tweaking...

Half Elf - Lawful Neutral - Paladin [Oath of Redemption] - Level 3
Strength [13]
- Athletics
Dexterity [12]
- Acrobatics
- Sleight of Hand
- Stealth
Constitution [10]
Intelligence [14]
- Arcana
- History
- Investigation
- Nature
- Religion
Wisdom [18]
- Animal Handling
- Insight
- Medicine
- Perception
- Survival
Charisma [12]
- Deception
- Intimidation
- Performance
- Persuasion

Soliloquy: advantage on any checks that use written communication that you have an hour to work on
Teamwork: advantage on all rolls involving shared effort.
Kindred: when taking a short or long rest in happy, friendly company, you receive a 1d8 inspiration die to use until your next rest.
Outsider: for every hour spent without absorbing occupation, take 1d4 psychic damage, for each loving couple or deep friendship witnessed, take 1d8 psychic damage.
Dysphoria: when encountering any kind of perceived rejection, on a failed DC18 wisdom save, take 2d10 psychic damage and self isolate until the next long rest, or short rest if taken in good company.
Empathy: when a non-hostile character that you can perceive takes damage that renders them unconscious, take half that damage as psychic damage.
Hamartia: while defending another, can take an extra 10 damage (up to -10hp) before falling unconscious, at the cost of an autofailed death save.

You can see their stat's over here.