If everything's a dream,

Challenge #14

In your own space, share your love for a trope, cliché, kink, motif, or theme. (Or a few!) What makes it particularly appealing for you? What do you like in fanworks featuring that trope?

+ FOUND FAMILY
++ enemies to friends/lovers, loyalty
++ broken characters who don't believe they're worthy of love, and being taught that they are
++ polyamory, various levels of queerplatonic relationship
++ sex because of trust, not lust, or even romantic love

+ HURT/COMFORT
++ fix-its, of the kind that deal with feelings or situations the canon didn't give closure to
++ grief, the aftermath of loss or betrayal
++ dubcon/noncon, generally where some kind of aftercare is included

+ LOVE & TRAGEDY
++ mutual pining and confessions of love, first kisses and first sex
++ sometimes one sided pining and broken hearts and loneliness
++ comfort sex/emotional sex

In hindsight, this would make a better venn diagram than a list, maybe.

Challenge #12 Commit an Act of Kindness (or two or three ♥)

I think my acts of kindness will be to myself.

( have courage, be kind )

Challenge #8

Rec at least three fanworks that you didn’t create.

I don't read much fic any more, mostly because I don't read much of anything any more, but I have scraped together a recent fave, and some very old ones, please enjoy!

Right Where You Are, That's Where I Am [Final Fantasy XII]
runicmagitek

A soft kind of love story, deep mutual respect, beautiful description of the world (and a gift from last year's chocolatebox exchange). <3

Gryllidae [Metal Gear Solid 3]
cognomen

A small fic I read many years ago that left a big impact. I think… it might have been one of the first fic I read that made me really feel I want to be able to write something like this.

fifty lifetimes [Iron Man (2008)] (Because the MCU didn't even exist yet!)
quigonejinn

This is going to be kind of two recs in one rec because I was looking for some Tony centric fics after Endgame and this is one I picked because it's kind of minimalistic and very effective, and I like canon divergent kind of AU. And then, because I remembered devouring a whole lot of this author's fics back in 2008/9, I couldn't help but wonder what they were up to these days, this is how I found 6th and Williams and I read it, and after having to endure about a million opinions about how the ending of Endgame was stupid, and how Steve wouldn't want to -- or shouldn't want to -- go back to Peggy (which I didn't have any particular strong feelings about myself), I really didn't realise I needed this until I found it.

Challenge #6

In your own space, make a list — anything between one and ten things is a sweet spot, but don't feel constrained by that! - of things that you wish existed in fandom or elsewhere, or that you'd like someone to make for you. Are you dying for podfic of your writing? Do you need icons for a character that doesn't get much fanart? Is there a story you want to read? Are you looking for new canons to get into? Would you like a collaborator for a project?

Maybe you want more people to talk about a certain fandom with, or you'd love to trade ficlets with somebody over email. Maybe you're new to a fandom and would like some recs to start reading, or communities to join. This is the time to ask!

Oh no, asking for things...

I guess I've always wanted art for my fics. Or maybe some aesthetic type edits or cover art...? Any of my fics would be good but maybe I have particular softness for afraid of all that I've built or in and out of darkness and light, since those had a lot more headcanons that canons in them.

Now that I'm thinking about it, another thing I would really like is if people let me know somehow that they included me in a rec list? Not to say they need my permission or anything, but sometimes I get a flurry of kudos or maybe even a comment on some old fic, which makes me really happy, but my brain is also a nonsense creature wandering where they're coming from and then I go googling desperately... On one occassion I did actually find a tumblr post of fic recs with one of my fics in it! And that felt so good, because it wasn't someone just telling me how much they liked my writing, they were telling [gasp] other people! Admittedly, perhaps this is part of me thinking that someone liked my writing so much, maybe they'd like me too and maybe they'd want to be my friend or something...

Maybe also meta about narratives, and narrative design and how stories come together, and not whether stories -- in general or a certain particular -- or aspects of stories are good or bad, but why they might be and what we can learn from them. How people interact with stories and how stories interact with them. How stories work in video games, and how they're different to other kinds of stories. I think that might be pretty cool.

In a non-fannish sense... I guess I've already admitted I would like more friends... Anyone here like planners and planning? Anyone here have dreams they're trying to make reality? writing and selfpublishing? practising art? Anyone interested in the why and how of stories more than the right or wrong of stories? Anyone trying to heal from depression without any real friend or family support, or a therapist, or medication, because (oh, irony) you need those things to get those things in the first place? Anyone cripplingly lonely, socially anxious, but too intimidated to work on those things? Anyone else need gentle handling because they've maybe got RSD and can feel so massively hurt by the tiniest of things sometimes? Are there any kind of accountability groups on dreamwidth maybe?

Challenge #4

In your own space, set some goals for the coming year. They can be fannish or not, public or private. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

1. work 8, 9, or 10 hours per week instead of 7
+ more money
+ less task backlog
+ integrity and pride?

2. outline 7 books, 54 scenes per book, 50 words per scene (minimum)
+ knowing what I want to write
+ working on it bit by bit

3. eat more nutritional meals, move more
+ more energy
+ more focus
+ confidence
+ better health in general

4. reduce negative self-talk and fear based behaviour
+ keeping on top of things before they get overwhelming
+ supporting myself
+ being more present and able to enjoy things

5. post to dreamwidth regularly, post at least one comment per week, write at least one piece of meta this year
+ make friends, reduce self-isolating
+ practice making myself heard
+ practice believing I have something worth saying

There are other things I want to do, but these are probably the most important...

...and this post was really hard but I did it...

Challenge #2

In your own space, talk about your fannish history. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.


This is difficult because I have a really hard time with my memory, but let's see…
- I'm pretty sure the first fannish experience I had was going on gameFAQs back in… mid 2000s? to devour the gamescripts of Metal Gear games prior to Metal Gear Solid.
- I feel like I remember finding out about fanfiction poking around Quizilla?
- But my first real foray into actual fandom was finding Fiction Alley and reading Harry Potter fanfic there. Pity about Cassandra Claire, because I absolutely adored the Draco trilogy. I once tried to print it all out and bind it by hand.
- I don't remember how I got to making a livejournal account, but that was when I first actually participated in fandom -- Merlin -- writing my first fanfic, taking part in a comment fic campaign, and a big bang!
- I've never been a single, or even main, fandom kind of person, but when I got to Tumblr it was even easier to fandom hop.
- I got back into gaming in 2015, I think? and every fic but one since then has been a video game fic.
- I can't even remember how I ended up taking part in chocolatebox 2017, putting down offers almost at random, but I had a fun time writing for a prompt I didn't think I could work with. Last year I gave it another try and came out with five fics that I'm really proud of.
- Now I've been on dreamwidth for a year, and I'm trying to make more fannish friends, find communities, and take part in fun things like this challenge?
- :)