i love you three thousand

[amovingtarget]

Avengers: Endgame
watched 25 April
SPOILERS HEREIN

Family, found or otherwise. Scott's reunion with his daughter: it's awfully heartwarming and tearjerking at the same time and Tony is certified the best, most adorable dad ever. In hindsight I kind of feel like some people are going to say that there was a disproportionate about of weight on his scenes, and on his daughter, but… his putting Morgan to bed was the most beautiful bit of parenting I've ever seen? And it said so much about him? There's an adorable shot of of Tony and Nat and Rocket(?) lying on a table doing some high level thinking, it's gorgeous to see how cosy they are together, especially after everything. Gamora helps future!Nebula, and Gamora isn't much impressed by her future self's taste in men, but it's kind of more adorable than it sounds, and that's such a strangely sweet sisterly moment.

Callbacks big and smallThere are too many to list, of course. And the big ones are massive, unmissable things, since they're the set pieces of the movie, but I also feel like there were tiny ones that I can hardly remember except for that little flutter of deja vu feeling they gave me. The movie had a lot of fun with itself, with the franchise, with the comics. Many, many gratuitous comments are made about Steve's ass, it is amazing./

Steve went into the elevator with the task force and the sceptre -- in itself a delicious call back to the fight scene in Captain America 2 -- and because we now know that they're all evil, Steve just Hail Hydras the sceptre into his hands, and walks away smirking. If that isn't a jab at the comics, I don't know what is. I recognised Asgardian refugees settling on Earth from the comics, though I don't remember what arc (there are too many, and too many I didn't bother reading). Steve, Tony and Thor go to fight Thanos, which I kind of loved because it reminded me of all the old art where is was only the three of them but I'd have to dig up my brother's art book to see who drew the art I'm thinking of. I have also been waiting to see Pepper in her Rescue armour and was not disappointed, though I didn't put two and two together when Tony mentions it because I was too busy distracted by his adorableness with his daughter. Speaking of Pepper being badass…

The battle and the gauntlet relay There might be opinions that it was too big and gratuitous. It's a fair point, but then again… Honestly, it's the last one, and the culmination of everything so, go big or go home in my opinion (or go big andgo home, even). There's nothing I love more than when all your friends turn out to help you fight your battles, and holy shit, all my friends where there. The gauntlet relay was surprisingly heartwarming and funny, so many people! so much teamwork!

Peter finding Tony in the battle and trying to apologise/explain/apologise/explain and Tony doing that face he does and just hugging the hell out of him. Fighting ladies! Valkyrie on her pegasus! and Pepper in her armour! Wanda starts shredding Thanos exactly as he deserves! Carol's big damn heroes entrance! Steve using the hammer! he's worthy! yes, Thor, we all knew it.

The last scene, the last shot, the credits all so touching as well.

There is literally only one part of the movie I really would change. When I realised Clint and Nat were going to Vormir, and they learned about the sacrifice deal… I was so hoping that they would decide to both hold hands and jump together, and see who loves the other more. I do like how they did it -- the way they fought and tried to one up the other was so in character (and I think a call back to Avengers 1) and of course Nat wins because she's just better. I've never really been one of those people who think self sacrifice is a bullshit idea or lazy writing. But I was kind of holding out for a loophole because no evil guy would think of sacrificing themselves, or maybe the stone would know this was an honourable thing, and, either way, they could circumvent the sacrifice rule because of their selflessness. They'd both live, and they'd have the stone.

I loved Tony and Pepper's arc, and their daughter. I love that Pepper has finally come to terms with Tony and Iron Man being the same person -- his drive to be bigger than himself, and to always do more, save more -- and at the same time, I really liked that she said one of the few failures because she is not usually wrong, and indeed she's not about what Tony wants to do next, or the fact that he needs to do it. I was thinking later about all the times that bad things have happened and Tony always tries to call Pepper and something makes that not happen, and this time she was here fighting with him, and she was with him at the end, and I was just, so glad.

You know, when I first saw Thor I was… really confused, about why they would do that. First I felt like it was some kind of weird comic relief element? But it wasn't treated like that? Sure people notice, and it's commented on, but everyone seemed to be able to tell he was struggling. When he said I went for the head at the start of the movie after killing Thanos, you could so hear that he was resenting himself for doing too little, too late, and for five years he just… never recovered from that. Nobody said he couldn't be part of the team because he was overweight, or drunk, or depressed. His mother wasn't disappointed in him for losing, or not being the hero he was supposed to be. The hammer of Thor still thinks he's worthy, and he still fights Thanos with everything he's got. I don't think I got it at all while I was watching the movie, but since I've been turning it over in my head… maybe they were trying to show that you could be at your worst, and you could still be a hero.

I was a little sad that Bucky didn't get to talk to Steve on screen, but on the other hand I get it. The run time is already way long and showing Steve pass the torch is more important, especially when Bucky and Steve's story arc -- however one might see their relationship -- was always so much in the subtext and given that it's difficult to know what they might say to each other that would be satisfying enough to fit in. I do wish we'd seen some kind of conclusion though, and… maybe I want to write one.

I loved so much that everyone was there. Every character felt like themselves, they felt real, even when we only caught glimpses of them. With a million characters and a three hour runtime, it would be really, really easy to mess something up, but the movie found a way for everyone to be there just enough to be felt, without making the movie feel like a drag. Not once was I aware of time passing, or that it felt too long, or that I was tired of watching. Every scene felt important, or fun, or both. Even though I felt like certain movies were less than they could have been, this one did an amazing job of giving everyone a voice, and tying everything up.

It's funny… I didn't expect Tony to die. I thought definitely Steve, and maybe Tony, but it was the other way around. And I was surprised! But I was also... so touched. In the end, it came out kind of perfect, kind of poetic.

Steve was the one who was always denied a chance to have a life, he was the one who already gave it, and came back empty handed to a country he didn't recognise. He ended up having to find his own path -- in Winter Soldier he very clearly called Shield out on their bullshit, and in Civil War he closed that door completely. He didn't really want to be Captain America, he was just a man trying to do the right thing, and in the end he got to be just a man, an old soldier who got to finally go home. Steve was the man out of time, and he went back and found it.

Tony was the one who was always desperate to make things right, he'd coasted through life and then had his eyes opened and he couldn't bear (for better or worse) to close them again. Nothing he did was ever enough. In Iron Man 3, Jarvis says he can only save a couple of the people freefalling out of that plane, and he says no I'm going to save all of them and he did. He had a chance to have a family, and he did and he was so happy, but neither he nor Pepper can deny who he is. He did the last, greatest thing he could ever do. He wanted a suit of armour around the world, and it was his heart all along.

It wasn't what I expected, and it wasn't very much what I wanted, but I walked out of the movie feeling like it had ended exactly the way it was supposed to.

Such is my experience of the internet that I kind of live in fear of, at best, finding people gloating that Tony is finally out of the franchise, or at worst, being derisive of the things I loved about it and about this movie. Since I've been thinking and journalling about it, I've been remembering I've been thinking about all those fics that I read (back when I was on livejournal aeons ago) and all my old and less old self insert ideas (how much of those would change now that Tony is dead?)the old fic ideas that I wanted to write. I hope I can finally write them. I really want to, because I don't really want Tony to be gone, and I don't want all this to be over.

Comments

[enemyofperfect]

*quietly cheering for all the possible writings*

You love these characters to bits, and the movie clearly made you feel so much. I love that you're thinking about putting that emotion back into making new stories.

Without knowing anything about whether this would make sense in canon, I keep sort of wanting there to be a movie about Natasha fighting her way back to life. She has friends to make it back to!

[amovingtarget]

Natasha fighting her way back to life. She has friends to make it back to!

Holy shit, that would be so cool! I need it!!!

[felis]

Natasha being trapped in the soul stone is the leading fan theory to achieve that at the moment I think. Would actually make sense!

[amovingtarget]

I definitely need it!!!

Natasha clawing her way back to reality + flashbacks of her training in the Red Room, Clint bringing her into Shield, tiny moments with the Avengers we otherwise didn't see...

[flails]