the chicken in the egg

[amovingtarget]

Can someone explain to me how dating works? Or maybe how to believe someone might want to date you? Or that you might have something to offer another person?

Society would tell us that we can't love someone until we love ourselves… but how are you supposed to see yourself as lovable, as worthy of someone's time and attention, without being validated by someone's time and attention? You can't offer yourself to someone if you have no sense of self, but how can you know yourself without someone willing to stand around long enough being a mirror until you realise you even have a self?

If you have to have one first, but you can't have one without the other, then what do you have?

Comments

[enemyofperfect]

how can you know yourself without someone willing to stand around long enough being a mirror until you realise you even have a self?

This is so well and painfully said.

And I think maybe this entry is its own answer, a little bit. By offering glimpses of yourself to other people, you give them the chance to see you and respond, to show you to yourself in turn. And maybe gradually, bit by bit, that can grow into an idea of yourself as a whole person, like a collage you're piecing together from a thousand different closeups. Maybe you're already on your way.

But it's so hard, I know.

[amovingtarget]

:(