If everything's a dream,

In addition to Final Fantasy feelings, something else that's made me happy lately is DND, which I still cling to like... a thing you cling to for safety...?

enemyofperfect wrote something really nice about a thing I did in Monday's sessions and I'm terribly touched, not just because they said nice things about what I did in the game, but also for saying nice things about me where other people can read which makes me feel less hazy in my personhood and that's also very nice.

its origin is the human heart (5634 words) by loveandthetruth
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Dishonored (Video Games)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Corvo Attano/Jessamine Kaldwin
Characters: Corvo Attano, Jessamine Kaldwin, Beatrix Kaldwin
Additional Tags: Grief/Mourning, Pre-Canon, Getting Together, Loyalty, First Kiss, Growing Up, Canonical Character Death, Minor Character Death, Loneliness, making mistakes and apologising for them, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Denial of Feelings, Feelings Realisation, Death in Childbirth
Summary:

“We men and women are all in the same boat, upon a stormy sea. We owe to each other a terrible and tragic loyalty.”

Jessamine and Corvo, growing together.

I wrote this fic for chocolate box! And while I'm yelling about chocolate box, can you believe that both of my treats were written by people I know! enemyofperfect wrote my Dishonored treat! theseatheseatheopensea wrote my Star Wars treat! I can't even with this!!!!!

I got three gifts! Only one of these was tagged 'treat' so I'm just going to assume that my actual assignment gift was the longest one? Every single one of them made me feel like alskdfjha how do people even write so good????

your reward's in the sweet by and by (1194 words) by Anonymous
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Dishonored (Video Games)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Deirdre/Billie Lurk | Meagan Foster, Delilah Copperspoon/Billie Lurk | Meagan Foster, Emily Kaldwin/Billie Lurk | Meagan Foster
Characters: Billie Lurk | Meagan Foster, Deirdre (Dishonored), Delilah Copperspoon
Additional Tags: Bad Ending, Lotus Eater Machine, Femslash February, Femslash February 2020
Summary:

There's something she's supposed to remember.

I found this to be just stunning, literally incredible how they wove this together, and there's this eerie sense that there's something not right that you just don't think to pay attention to because the opening is so good and cozy -- bad ending? I wondered, must mean high chaos and I didn't even think to google lotus eater machine until it was too late -- and the twist when you realise what's wrong with this world is just amazing. I love this to pieces.

the dream of a waking man (676 words) by Anonymous
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Dishonored (Video Games)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Billie Lurk | Meagan Foster & The Outsider
Additional Tags: Post-Dishonored: Death of the Outsider, Hopeful Ending, Canon-Typical Weariness
Summary:

"Old habits," Billie said, "go down fighting."

Another gorgeous Dishonored present for me! I don't even know how to say what I love about this fic without quoting the entire fic here, it just feels so good? The description? Billie's thoughts about… pretty much everything? There's a post-DOTO fic I really want to try writing, and if it's even a quarter as good as this one scene?! The characterisation is so good?! I'm going to stop here before I start keysmashing!

Underneath the quiet light (329 words) by Anonymous
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Rey (Star Wars), Finn (Star Wars), Poe Dameron, BB-8 (Star Wars)
Additional Tags: Found Family, Sharing a Bed, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Friendship/Love, Tenderness, Peace, The Force, Post-Canon, Treat
Summary:

Rey can finally breathe. They all can.

All I could think of for my prompt was Give me fluffy sweetness, nice little quiet character moments, precious fiends being precious together. and boy did my author deliver. Even BB-8 gets in on the cuteness and it's so soft, and did I ever tell you guys how weak I am for non sexual intimacy and platonic (or at least non sexual) bedsharing? Guys, I'm so weak. Sleepy cuddling and big feelings, I'm dead.

Challenge #15

In your own space, create your own challenge.

Consider an alternative point of view than your own. Pick something you feel strongly about in a less than positive way -- a particular scene, a character, a plot line -- and discuss why it might exist that way, and how it might be enjoyable to a different kind of person.

Challenge 13: In your own space, create a fanwork.

Getting a little wild with this one, but since the challenge came out on the same day I intended to finish writing up my session notes for DND -- of which some is written in a "telling" style of prose, and a good deal is written up as properly drafted (if not perfectly crafted -- I try not to spend too long doing it, but I enjoy it too much to stop entirely) story.... This counts as a fanwork, doesn't it? Of DND? Or enemyofperfect 's crazy good DMing? This week's session notes are 3700 words long but some are longer. I am the only other player at the table, if you count the DM as one (and why wouldn't you?) and we've been playing -- though I suppose it's fair to say we've gone entirely off book by now -- the Lost Mine of Phandelver module for very nearly two years now, after I cribbed it from the internet just to see if we might like it.

( A bit of background, if you're interested in reading this: )

( Session 88 )

Challenge #11

In your own space, recommend a fannish or creative resource.

Not to be totally lame or anything, but… I mostly just google for things with increasing desperation, and usually find a bunch of interesting things along the way -- like the time I found someone who had tried to calculate the area of the FF15 map while I was trying to get some rough idea of how long travel would take in the game. I also turn to fandom.com wikis very frequently -- they're (almost always) so useful for a variety of canon information, timelines, quotes, things you didn't even notice when you were consuming whatever media the wiki is for…

I've also been onto youtube a lot recently for writing advice and tools. There's a lot I could link but I will try to keep it brief with just a few faves: there's this video about the plot embryo from Rachael Stephen, which I found pretty enlighting; this playlist about plotting from Heart Breathings -- whom I also love for their kanban planning videos; and this video about using a scene card from Abbie Emmons, which might really be about how to write character driven stories?

Challenge #9

In your own space, promote at least one canon that you adore (old, new, forever fandom).

So, I've been trying to think what I could say something about that I hadn't really heard talked about much before. I ended up with two polar opposite canons that I actually really like.

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare trilogy
+ Surprisingly not very good war propaganda -- loaded with "war is hell" quotes for your you died screen, many of them pointing rightful fingers at the war industry iirc
+ Some epic gut punch moments -- Shock and Awe/Aftermath of the first game, Loose Ends of the second game
+ First you think you're fighting a Middle-Eastern nation, then you think the bad guys are some kind of Russian force, but no, it turns out the real bad guy is an American general you thinks America -- and himself -- is nothing without war
+ Actually the first game I played when I bought my (second hand) PS3, because it came with the console and I thought "I'd probably not like it I might as well give it a shot, get it out of the way, and sell it" -- but it ended up staying in my collection
+ I got surprisingly attached to the characters, so either I'm easy or they must have been doing something right?

Call the Midwife
+ Always ends with the most wholesome and hopeful monologue
+ 90% female cast at least
+ Every time there's an issue episode -- and there are many of them -- it's always the most balanced writing I've ever seen anywhere?
+ Speaking of writing, it's consistently of good quality
+ Real character driven drama!!!!
+ Always making me emotional! Never once letting me down!

Challenge #8

Rec at least three fanworks that you didn’t create.

I don't read much fic any more, mostly because I don't read much of anything any more, but I have scraped together a recent fave, and some very old ones, please enjoy!

Right Where You Are, That's Where I Am [Final Fantasy XII]
runicmagitek

A soft kind of love story, deep mutual respect, beautiful description of the world (and a gift from last year's chocolatebox exchange). <3

Gryllidae [Metal Gear Solid 3]
cognomen

A small fic I read many years ago that left a big impact. I think… it might have been one of the first fic I read that made me really feel I want to be able to write something like this.

fifty lifetimes [Iron Man (2008)] (Because the MCU didn't even exist yet!)
quigonejinn

This is going to be kind of two recs in one rec because I was looking for some Tony centric fics after Endgame and this is one I picked because it's kind of minimalistic and very effective, and I like canon divergent kind of AU. And then, because I remembered devouring a whole lot of this author's fics back in 2008/9, I couldn't help but wonder what they were up to these days, this is how I found 6th and Williams and I read it, and after having to endure about a million opinions about how the ending of Endgame was stupid, and how Steve wouldn't want to -- or shouldn't want to -- go back to Peggy (which I didn't have any particular strong feelings about myself), I really didn't realise I needed this until I found it.

Challenge #6

In your own space, make a list — anything between one and ten things is a sweet spot, but don't feel constrained by that! - of things that you wish existed in fandom or elsewhere, or that you'd like someone to make for you. Are you dying for podfic of your writing? Do you need icons for a character that doesn't get much fanart? Is there a story you want to read? Are you looking for new canons to get into? Would you like a collaborator for a project?

Maybe you want more people to talk about a certain fandom with, or you'd love to trade ficlets with somebody over email. Maybe you're new to a fandom and would like some recs to start reading, or communities to join. This is the time to ask!

Oh no, asking for things...

I guess I've always wanted art for my fics. Or maybe some aesthetic type edits or cover art...? Any of my fics would be good but maybe I have particular softness for afraid of all that I've built or in and out of darkness and light, since those had a lot more headcanons that canons in them.

Now that I'm thinking about it, another thing I would really like is if people let me know somehow that they included me in a rec list? Not to say they need my permission or anything, but sometimes I get a flurry of kudos or maybe even a comment on some old fic, which makes me really happy, but my brain is also a nonsense creature wandering where they're coming from and then I go googling desperately... On one occassion I did actually find a tumblr post of fic recs with one of my fics in it! And that felt so good, because it wasn't someone just telling me how much they liked my writing, they were telling [gasp] other people! Admittedly, perhaps this is part of me thinking that someone liked my writing so much, maybe they'd like me too and maybe they'd want to be my friend or something...

Maybe also meta about narratives, and narrative design and how stories come together, and not whether stories -- in general or a certain particular -- or aspects of stories are good or bad, but why they might be and what we can learn from them. How people interact with stories and how stories interact with them. How stories work in video games, and how they're different to other kinds of stories. I think that might be pretty cool.

In a non-fannish sense... I guess I've already admitted I would like more friends... Anyone here like planners and planning? Anyone here have dreams they're trying to make reality? writing and selfpublishing? practising art? Anyone interested in the why and how of stories more than the right or wrong of stories? Anyone trying to heal from depression without any real friend or family support, or a therapist, or medication, because (oh, irony) you need those things to get those things in the first place? Anyone cripplingly lonely, socially anxious, but too intimidated to work on those things? Anyone else need gentle handling because they've maybe got RSD and can feel so massively hurt by the tiniest of things sometimes? Are there any kind of accountability groups on dreamwidth maybe?

Challenge #5

Comment to someone you haven't ever interacted with before or introduce yourself to someone you've briefly interacted with and friend/follow them. Afterwards, leave a comment in this post with the equivalent of "I did it!"

Plucked up some courage and made a comment! And I have replied to several other new folk around this challenge, so I hope that counts (^_^)