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amovingtarget) wrote2019-01-20 08:03 pm
week 03
GOOD STUFF
Two family gatherings in one week! Much food was eaten!
Finished playing Red Dead Redemption 2!
Finished the patch in time for my niece's birthday! I’m pretty sure she loved it!
Finished a zero draft of my chocolate box fic!
Bought myself a filofax! Made some planner inserts with my own two hands (and my computer)!
I managed to read some more of Blackout while I was sitting around downstairs!
OTHER STUFF
My feelings/self esteem has been all up and down this week, and they’re both low enough to begin with. I don’t know what that’s about and it’s pretty exhausting. But I had some brave conversations about some things that were upsetting me, so there’s that?
I’m really glad I got that patch done. I was tempted to let it go, on account I had taken her to London, to Comic Con, for the weekend in November, so I didn’t really need to give a present. But I did it, and even though I was a knot of anxiety for most of the early stages because it wasn’t coming out as neat as I wanted, but it came out pretty cute in the end.
I am...not exactly enjoying Blackout, but I’m feeling compelled to finish it because it’s the last book of a trilogy and I want to know how it ends, and there was just enough high points to keep me wondering what the next one might be.
I have a problem with planning that is difficult to put into words. I love for everything to be neat and organised and specific, but...I don’t really feel like I have enough control over my time to be able to tell myself we can do x for this block of time and y for that block of time, and I don’t have the courage to say please don’t disturb me while i’m doing this thing that’s important to me. ….And then I just end up wasting all my time with random junk anyway…. It’s like my brain sees that I can’t possibly fit in all the things I want to do, so doing none of them is the most reasonable option….
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I feel like it should count as a double victory when you make it through anxiety like that. Go you! *\o/*
And wow do I sympathize about having trouble doing anything when you know you can't do everything, or when you don't know when you might be interrupted. It's tough. :/
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